|DNA Stuff - Lots of Pipetting, but I don't Remember Why
|D. McNeill, D. Berger, N. Cafferky, and D. Moor
Molecular Biology Laboratory,
College Marine Biology Station, Rosario Beach, Anacortes, WA.
Laboratory Report 9977. July 27, 2001
|Abstract: In which the aforementioned award-winning scientists discover
that long hours spent in a laboratory (either computer or molecular) can be
detrimental to mental stability and the general well being of mankind.
When you're working in the lab, certain little things contribute to the overall
experience, like Daniel's incessant squeaking on his lab stool, or a special
sound-byte story from Dr. Wilson. However, life in the laboratory soon becomes
dull and routine without some pranks to liven things up, like the time we locked
the lab and hid from Daniel when he was late to class one day. Hence, this lab
Hypothesis - We predict that long hours spent in a laboratory setting
will cause an increase in sarcasm and a decrease in seriousness and attention
Pipetting, micropipetting, and more pipetting. Then run the little thingies
in the microfuge. Pipette out the Super Nate, or the pellet, whichever you prefer.
Mix up a solution and poor the stirbar down the drain. Break some test tubes on
the floor. Make sure you are wearing sandals, shorts, and your favorite shirt,
and then spill some methylene blue on yourself. Play puppets with Herbert and
Hilda, the talking hot pads. Ask someone where all the Sharpie Markers went.
Dust off the coveted Lab Rat of the Week trophy. Ask Deanna what's going on and
what she wrote in her lab notebook about it. Cut off a piece of parafilm and
stretch it over your nose. Complain that it's four o'clock on a Monday, and stare
with envy at all the Entomology students walking by on their way out on a field
Basically our results are inconclusive because we messed up somewhere. Look at
Figure 1 for some other results.
Figure 1 - Figure Heading - Talk some nonsense about the figure itself,
like "this figure is the epitome of the hopelessness of this study. Further
studies may or may not show similar depressing results." Or you could just make
up something plausible.
Obviously stuff has more absorbance than the other stuff, as seen in figure 1.
Check out the nice peaks, reminiscent of the Himalayas.
This is where the discussion goes. Right now I'm rather disgusted myself. I
think it has something to do with spending all day on a lab write-up, when it's
sunny and warm outside - perfect weather to Go And Do Something Fun.
Apparently we messed up, as our results CLEARLY show. Maybe if we repeated our
experiment, we'd mess up again.
Body, N. E. 2000. A Study on Studies. See Appendicitis A. Menlo Park, New York.
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