| DNA Stuff - Lots of Pipetting, but I don't Remember Why |
| D. McNeill, D. Berger, N. Cafferky, and D. Moor Molecular Biology Laboratory, Walla Walla College Marine Biology Station, Rosario Beach, Anacortes, WA. Laboratory Report 9977. July 27, 2001 |
| Abstract: In which the aforementioned award-winning scientists discover that long hours spent in a laboratory (either computer or molecular) can be detrimental to mental stability and the general well being of mankind. |
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Introduction When you're working in the lab, certain little things contribute to the overall experience, like Daniel's incessant squeaking on his lab stool, or a special sound-byte story from Dr. Wilson. However, life in the laboratory soon becomes dull and routine without some pranks to liven things up, like the time we locked the lab and hid from Daniel when he was late to class one day. Hence, this lab write-up. Hypothesis - We predict that long hours spent in a laboratory setting will cause an increase in sarcasm and a decrease in seriousness and attention span. Methods Pipetting, micropipetting, and more pipetting. Then run the little thingies in the microfuge. Pipette out the Super Nate, or the pellet, whichever you prefer. Mix up a solution and poor the stirbar down the drain. Break some test tubes on the floor. Make sure you are wearing sandals, shorts, and your favorite shirt, and then spill some methylene blue on yourself. Play puppets with Herbert and Hilda, the talking hot pads. Ask someone where all the Sharpie Markers went. Dust off the coveted Lab Rat of the Week trophy. Ask Deanna what's going on and what she wrote in her lab notebook about it. Cut off a piece of parafilm and stretch it over your nose. Complain that it's four o'clock on a Monday, and stare with envy at all the Entomology students walking by on their way out on a field trip. Results Basically our results are inconclusive because we messed up somewhere. Look at Figure 1 for some other results.
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 Figure 1 - Figure Heading - Talk some nonsense about the figure itself, like "this figure is the epitome of the hopelessness of this study. Further studies may or may not show similar depressing results." Or you could just make up something plausible. Obviously stuff has more absorbance than the other stuff, as seen in figure 1. Check out the nice peaks, reminiscent of the Himalayas. Discussion This is where the discussion goes. Right now I'm rather disgusted myself. I think it has something to do with spending all day on a lab write-up, when it's sunny and warm outside - perfect weather to Go And Do Something Fun. Apparently we messed up, as our results CLEARLY show. Maybe if we repeated our experiment, we'd mess up again. References Body, N. E. 2000. A Study on Studies. See Appendicitis A. Menlo Park, New York.
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