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I hereby pledge to mate for life with you exclusively, and to share nesting space, gametes, food and other resources in order to ensure the survival and propagation of our progeny. I further pledge to fend off any rivals, thus ensuring that any offspring we bear contain only our genes. I further commit to raising and caring for our young, teaching them any learned behaviors necessary to survive in our environment or to increase their fitness for competition with other members of our species. By selecting you as a mating partner, I hereby choose your genetic material as expressed by your phenotypic morphology and behavior, and I therefore deem it superior to any other genetic material for recombination with my own. We shall thus together make our own unique contribution to the human gene pool and to the ultimate survival of our species.
And yes, Shaunda's glad I came up with this AFTER our wedding day.
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